Five Times They Visited Boring Planets
by Cora Clavia
Summary: Not every planet is a thrill ride.


a/n: Vignettes, set between season 1 and season 4.

* * *

 **P4X-237**

Jack's pretty sure he never wants to see another tree on any planet, ever again.

SG-1 has the dubious honor of babysitting a group of botanists today. The geeks are running around, babbling excitedly about pollen and chlorophyll and root structures, measuring and taking photographs and poking things with rapt expressions.

Teal'C, being far too nice, is helping move logs and haul the heaviest set of sensors. Daniel's convinced he's found traces of human habitation, although it looks suspiciously like a pile of rocks. Even Carter's busy with the science team, looking at readouts on some kind of gizmo with at least nominal interest on her face.

At a loss for anything else to do, Jack finds a seat on an obliging boulder in a clearing. It's a good vantage point; despite the density of the forest, he can easily watch the non-stop thrill ride around him.

He's not sure how long he's been sitting there, bored stiff, when Carter finally comes over to him. "Sir?"

"Carter?" He pulls off his cap and runs a hand through his hair. "How's the science going?"

"Very well." Her eyes are sparkling. "I can tell how much you're enjoying this, sir."

"It's true. Trees are my secret passion."

It earns him a full-blown smile, the kind she tries to hide when she's pretending she doesn't find him funny, but he's pretty sure she always fails.

"Well in that case, sir, you'll be sorry to hear that we're almost done."

"Ah!" He swings his legs over the edge, sliding off the boulder to the ground. "Well. I'll try to hide my disappointment."

"Thank you for indulging us, sir."

"You're welcome." Jack shrugs, pulling his cap back on. "Gotta love these science kids' playdates."

* * *

 **P3Y-391**

He's changed his mind. Trees are okay.

Sand, on the other hand, deserves to die a slow and merciless death.

After hours of trekking across a desert, they've finally found the ruins Daniel was so excited about. There's a section of carvings that's half-buried in the middle of the crumbling brick walls, and it takes all four of them to dig it out under the hot sun.

Daniel's happy to sit under the shade of a little rigged tarp and brush off the stone surface, with Teal'C adding his expertise when he hits an unfamiliar word or symbol. It's slow, methodical, painstaking work, the kind Daniel loves.

Jack wipes his sweaty forehead with his already-drenched bandanna. He's long since peeled off his jacket; his tan t-shirt is sticking to his skin, and he's pretty sure there's sand and grit coating every part of his body.

He remembers catching a glimpse of some greenery down the way, and he can see the shimmer of water not far off. It looks like he's not needed here for the time being, anyway.

He heads over to see Daniel and Teal'C. "Where's Carter?"

"Uh -" Daniel waves vaguely somewhere to his left. "I think she went over there-ish."

"You _think?"_

Daniel finally looked up from his work, blinking as he comes back to reality. "She said she was going to go check out the river."

"I believe Captain Carter said she would return shortly," Teal'C adds. "She ascertained that the river was within visual distance, and told us to radio if we needed her to come back."

"Right." Jack nods. "Okay. I'm going to head down there. Holler if you need something."

* * *

He follows the trail down into the glen, sand crunching under his boots. It's the only real spot of greenery around this gritty, bone-dry place, a little oasis on the banks of the river. It's surrounded by clusters of feathery plants with thick leaves, and some kind of golden-yellow blossoms that look a little like tulips. More importantly, there's shade, as the tallest plants hang over the water.

A flash of blonde hair catches his eye, and he leans around a clump of fluffy, paddle-shaped ferns to see -

Oh.

 _Oh_.

It's Carter. It's...a _lot_ of Carter.

Her boots sit on a smooth, flat stone near the water, next to a neatly-folded BDU jacket, trousers, and t-shirt, along with her radio.

She's down to underwear and a sports bra, clean, simple white lines against her fair skin. Without the bulky layers of stiff camo to hide it, her body is slim. Toned.

Feminine.

He stares, frozen in place, watching guiltily as she splashes water on her face and steps forward, wading deeper, until she's submerged in the swirling water up to her shoulders. Sunlight dapples her skin like freckles.

Jack catches his breath, rubbing sweat and grit and maybe, just maybe, some of the stupidity out of his eyes.

"The hell is _wrong_ with you, O'Neill?" he murmurs under his breath.

An Air Force officer, a brilliant scientist, a woman who deserves only the utmost -

She emerges from the water like a goddess, and holy _shit_ , Ursula Andress has got absolutely nothing on Captain-Doctor Sam Carter. She's glowing, all long, long legs and dripping wet curves. That sports bra is just barely on the decent side of see-through.

Looks like the water's cold.

Images flare up in his mind, unbidden. Dropping his clothes, sliding into the water with her. Pulling her hips roughly against his.

Pinning her down on that rock and getting a whole new kind of sweaty.

The bolt of lust hits him hard, sending his blood south even as shame washes through him. She deserves better than this, being ogled by a superior officer when she just wanted a quick dip in the water to cool off.

She stands up straight, stretching her arms over her head, and the sunlight washes over her like -

Jack makes himself turn away, back towards the safety of Daniel and Teal'C and ruins and boring, endless sand.

He can live with the sand for now.

* * *

 **P7X-062**

Even Carter gets bored sometimes.

Daniel and Teal'C are engrossed in another set of Very Old Carvings on a Very Old Tablet in a Very Old Village. There's not a soul around - by Daniel's estimate, they're the first sentient creatures to visit this place in at least three centuries - and apart from light breeze, there's nothing to do here except stare at the skies and the dirt and the slightly blue-tinged grass.

At a loss for anything to do, Jack walks a perimeter around the ruins. Then a slightly wider perimeter.

After his third perimeter check, he finally gives up. He's officially bored. To make matters worse, he forgot his yo-yo.

As he muses over whether or not he can convince Daniel that the carvings are just an ancient alien cookbook and they can hightail it back home, Jack notices his 2IC, sitting quietly on a log nearby.

Now there's an unusual sight: Samantha Carter, not doing anything. She's staring vaguely in the direction of Daniel and Teal'C, but Jack is about ninety-three percent sure she's completely zoned out.

As Daniel keeps muttering about prepositions and noun cases and whatever else is so terribly exciting, Jack settles himself on the log beside Carter. "Bored yet, Major?"

"Of course not, sir." She sits up a little straighter.

He huffs. "Yep. Me, too."

She smiles at that, pulling off her cap, brushing back her hair. "Where's your yo-yo?"

"I forgot it." He leans his elbows on his knees. "Any suggestions? What have you been doing?"

"I've been mentally reviewing the modularity theorem."

"The what now?"

"It's a theorem proposed by Taniyama and Shimura, later proved by Andrew Wiles, that states that elliptical curves -" she pauses, realizing that it's just not worth the effort - "it's...math, sir."

"Ah." He nods. "You know, as fun as that sounds, I think I'll let it be your special thing. Just this once."

"That's big of you, sir."

He nudges her shoulder. "Hey, next time, you can use the yo-yo."

Jack knows he probably shouldn't take such satisfaction in watching her smile at his stupid joke. If he stopped to think about the deeper implications, he'd have to acknowledge some things he's not ready to acknowledge.

So for now, he ignores it.

* * *

 **P8M-215**

Carter's been quiet today.

This planet looks like Nebraska, but less exciting. Whatever thrill it holds has something to do with minerals in the rocks; Jack often zones out during the denser scientific reports, but he distinctly remembers Carter saying there was something very important about these particular rocks. Hence, Operation: Planet Nebraska.

The day's been uneventful. She's been keeping an eye on her charts, occasionally taking notes as she looks at the measurements. To the casual observer, she probably seems perfectly fine, if a little overly-focused.

Of course, when it comes to Sam Carter, Jack's observations are anything but casual.

They all know each other too well, though. At one point as the sun's starting to set over the long fields of golden grass and pale flowers around them, Daniel leans over to where Jack's setting up a campfire. "Do you know what's bothering Sam?"

"She didn't say anything to me."

Daniel makes a face. "She's been quiet all day."

"Yeah, I noticed." Jack sets the kindling ablaze, poking a few twigs in further. "I'll talk to her later."

* * *

He wakes up to his watch alarm in the middle of the night, yawns, rubs his face, and rolls out of his sleeping bag.

Outside, he finds Carter sitting near the fire, mug of tea in her hands. She won't drink caffeine so close to her watch ending, he knows, but when it gets chilly, she likes to keep her hands warm.

She was quiet through dinner, too. But something convinced him to hold off, let her have some distance. Now it's deep in the night, the sky heavy, inky black, and it feels like they're the only two people in the whole world.

"Sir?" She looks down at her watch, brow furrowed in surprise. "Your watch doesn't start for another ten minutes."

He shrugs. "Couldn't sleep."

She doesn't call him on the obvious lie, even though she probably heard his alarm go off.

They fall silent, listening to the rustle of ferns in the breeze, the soft trickle of water from a stream nearby, the popping and crackle of the campfire.

"You want to talk about it?"

To her credit, she doesn't deflect. She knows that if he's asking, he's sure enough that it's not just a shot in the dark.

Silence stretches on, and he decides maybe he should backpedal. "Or not. Just - if you want."

Carter draws in a long breath, pulling her knees in, drawing herself close together. "Today's the anniversary of my mother's death."

His heart stumbles in his chest. "I'm sorry."

He knows - oh, he knows - how it feels to carry a dark day around. It's a black, sucking void that no one else guesses, clinging like a shadowy, suffocating blanket.

"Twenty years." She shakes her head, staring blindly into the fire. "You know, she wasn't much older than I am now."

Jack knows a little about Carter's family life, at least what he's pieced together from her and Jacob talking. He can't help but wonder what her mother was like.

She must have had blue eyes, he thinks. Big, beautiful blue eyes, endlessly expressive, just like her daughter.

"I've thought about her a lot recently," Carter says. "No real reason, I just - I keep remembering things she used to say. Stuff she liked. Little things, you know?"

He nods, because he does. Charlie's favorite color was red. He used to pull the red crayons and markers out of his coloring box and keep them hidden together under his mattress. _So no one can take them, Dad_.

Jack swallows hard. "So - are you figuring something out?"

"It's not that. It's not this deep, profound understanding of the meaning of life." She smiles ruefully. "I just _miss_ her. I still miss her. I miss - the way our family used to be."

"Yeah."

Carter lets out a shaky breath, and in the flickering of the campfire, he thinks he sees her eyes glittering. "Sorry if I was a little off today. It's just - it's been tough."

"You're fine, Carter." He steals a glance at his watch. "If you want to get to bed, go ahead."

"Right." She tosses the rest of the tea out of her cup and makes for the tent he just left.

Before going in, though, she pauses, half-turning back to him. "Thank you, Colonel."

Jack catches her gaze, and her eyes are deep, mesmerizing, so vulnerable that he wishes he could say more. So much more.

"Good night."

"Good night, sir."

* * *

 **P1X-948**

Sometimes, everything sucks.

He and Carter were halfway back to their base camp here on Planet Rocks n' Pebbles - seriously, there's barely even moss, let alone trees - when the sky opened up. Sheets of rain scoured the ground, transforming the blank, rocky terrain into a slick, dripping nightmare.

They ran to a slight overhang, which isn't ideal, but it's the best they could do in the absence of a tent, tree cover, or conveniently-roomy cave. Their gear is back at the camp, so now they're freezing, soaked through, and stuck until the rain eases up enough to give them some visibility.

Jack glances over at Carter, who's huddled against the rock face, arms wrapped around herself, looking anywhere but at him.

They've been keeping distance. Not a lot of distance, just...distance.

Because it was just a few weeks ago that they both admitted, under apparent threat of imminent death, that the quiet, blazing little _something_ they'd both been tacitly denying was, in fact, mutual. That it was real.

It's a very particular type of torture, working beside her every single day. _You can look but you can't touch_.

And he really shouldn't look as much as he does.

* * *

He tucks his radio back in his jacket. "Daniel and Teal'C are fine. They made it up to the camp before the storm hit. Looks like we're stuck here for the time being."

She nods, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees. Even in the mist, he can see the shivers wracking her body. The temperature seems like it's still dropping, but judging by the daytime temps and the vegetation around them, it's not headed anywhere near Antarctica levels of cold. It is, however, just chilly enough to be completely and totally miserable, especially in wet uniforms.

He's cold, wet, hungry, exhausted, and hopelessly in love with the one woman in the galaxy who is one hundred percent off limits to him.

Jack settles back against the rock wall, staring out at the greyish landscape, blurry from the storm. Even in the heavy rain, he can still hear the shivers she's trying to hide.

 _This is ridiculous_.

"C'mere."

"Sir?"

"You're freezing. C'mere."

After a long moment, she scoots closer to him, and Jack wraps an arm around her. He pulls her close, and after a moment, she relaxes, letting herself lean against him.

"You all right?"

She nods. "Just cold."

"Give me your hands."

He covers her cold hands in his, running his thumbs over her smooth skin. Her hands are strong, capable, but in his larger ones, they look surprisingly small. Delicate.

Jack swallows. "Better?"

"Yeah." But she doesn't pull her hands away.

She huddles close beside him in the middle of this cold, wet, rain-soaked misery of a mission, and he rests his cheek against her damp hair, feeling the warmth of her breath on his chilly skin.

Maybe this planet isn't so bad.


End file.
